With another year coming to a close, it is that time once again where our social media feeds peddle hustle-culture narratives driving us to set ambitious writing goals and lofty word counts.
It can be overwhelming and draining.
Often, the reason behind why people set goals stems from shame. We feel “I have to do more and be better.” We think if we achieve these goals it will “fix” us, but that mindset is what sets us up to fail from the start.
Even though a lot of us look at the “I must work harder” goals as a tool to help us succeed, it isn’t coming from a healthy space. It “feels” healthy when we start the year with it, like we’re doing this to better ourselves, but it’s fueled underneath by negative self-talk. At the heart of it, we’re creating these goals to “be better” because the current version of ourselves isn’t “enough.”
I used to create hustle-centric, rigid goals because I believed I wasn’t doing enough if I wasn’t achieving. If I wasn’t mapping out what I was going to do every step of the project, then I was a bad human being.
If your goal setting comes from the need to prove yourself, compete with others, or hit some external measurement of value or worth—that’s shame talking. If you’re thinking “real authors” finish their drafts in a year so I need to too or if I can’t reach this goal it means I’m lazy/bad/stupid, you’re feeding the inner critic. We attach all these external meanings to the goal we’re trying to achieve, in the hopes that we can shame ourselves into the version we think we have to be, because who we are isn’t “enough.”
But it doesn’t have to be that way.
Goal setting is a tool. It’s not inherently a good or bad thing.
When we remove the weight of expectation and shame, we can actually approach goal setting with something more holistic: Self-love. We view this as central to the writing mindset.
What happens to your mindset towards goal setting if you believe from the start that you’re enough?
A shift happens. You begin to create goals that are fun and doable, with a focus on what is realistically accomplishable—goals you can actually complete.
This shift isn’t easy though! Our external expectations and inner critic voices are so steeped in hustle culture, including how we talk about ourselves and think about success. It was hard to take a look at what was realistically accomplishable for me!
I’m someone who loves to set big goals, but in this current phase of my life—I can’t. I didn’t want to set goals knowing that I’d have to work myself to the bone to get there. I wanted to set a goal that I would love, that would love me, and that would feel FUN to do.
To start that shift, ask yourself: If I felt like I didn’t need to prove anything, what would I do? If I could just play this whole year, what would I want to do?
For me, I wanted to find a writing process that worked for me, but through doing that work, I wrote more than I ever had—and it was fun!
To be clear, you can still dream big, be wildly ambitious, and do a LOT. But for me, it wasn’t until I let go of those hustle-culture expectations that this really unlocked for me. Your goals don’t have to feel miserable to achieve; they should be fun.
Our next trick to set goals free from shame is to watch where your goals and expectations are coming from. Who says that should be your goal? You or someone else? Do you actually want to do those things? Because if you like you “have” to do something, that’s a feeling worth interrogating.
When I set my goal of showing up to write twice a week, I was immediately worried that that wouldn’t be enough time, and I wouldn’t get anything done. Then I had to interrogate those thoughts: is that true? Why do I think that? And then I realized, it didn’t have to be true. I could actually achieve a lot if I show up two times a week—and I did. I proved that to myself.
I’m also emphasizing the word realistic. We’re not setting goals with the vibe that “anything is doable.” Really dig into what your current life looks like, and ask yourself if that is realistically doable in your current phase of life. And remember, just because it might not feel doable right now doesn’t mean that won’t change in the future. That helped me reframe what is realistic for me, and took the judgment off.
Also, think outside the box for the type of goals you set.
For one of our clients, whose biggest struggle was getting into the writing chair, she set a minimum goal to write one paragraph three times a week. Sometimes she wrote way more than that, and sometimes that was all she could get. Goals like those decenter productivity expectations. There’s way more that you can do besides just word count; try what feels good.
If you do really want to have a productivity-focused goal, consider pairing it with a mindset shift goal. We had our minds blown by our brilliant colleague and Creative Coach Kristen Kieffer who suggested pairing what you want to do with the belief you want to step into that will help you achieve that goal.
I wanted to finish a draft in four months, but to do that, I knew I had to step out of my fear of the blank page. I had already identified that my fear of the blank page was getting in my way of achieving this goal, and if I wanted to reach my goal I had to become someone who had fun with the blank page.
Rachel and I love the idea of choosing a productivity goal you haven’t done yet and asking yourself what beliefs you want to step into or fears you want to step out of, to help improve your mindset. This can also help you look at your belief system as a whole, and start thinking of ways you can shift your approach to goals.
To help you figure out the mindset shift associated with your goal, take three minutes to write the “true” narratives in your head about your goals and then flip them: How are those things not true?
As you start to create your goals for 2025, ask yourself this:
✨ What’s your next milestone goal you’d like to reach?
✨ What’s a procedural goal that you could make to help you reach your milestone goal?
✨ What belief could you step into to help you achieve your goals? What fears do you need to let go of?
✨ What easy achievable to YOU action can you regularly take toward your milestone?
✨ What small ways can you regularly work to step into your new belief?
Once you have your goals set without the expectation of shame or hustle culture guiding you, check in with yourself and your goals throughout the year.
Celebrate your progress and small achievements! You don’t have to save up your happiness until you reach your goal; you can be happy and proud of yourself in the midst of it. Also, make sure you incorporate rest into your process—remember, we’re not hustling towards our goals.
Happy New Year!
xo,
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